my theory: Life is like writing a 1,000 page term paper

90% of all humanity has already died.
10% is living today.
of that 10% I am .00000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of that
of that meager exisitance I will live for maybe 80 years.
of that 80 years I've lived 25% of it already
that 25% i've felt like i've wasted.

so i came to this thought.

what we do doesnt matter.
we dont need to see all of the world.
we dont need to know everyone.
we dont need to be popular or shameful of not
we dont need to know how to stretch the limits of physics or math
we we need.

what i want.
what i need.
is a purpose that i find acceptable.
fore the next 75% of my life i have left.
I must find a purpose that I love
for love will make my life complete
complete is what makes the 100& of my life lived a life worth living
because in the end there is only death.

Death is the answer to our life
Death makes us afraid... Fearful
Fear pushes us to live life as best we like
Without this fear we have nothing to live for
fore life cannot exist without death
fore our lives would be as same as a rock without death

this all brings me back to death life and fear.

we.
fear death
because we are fearful of not living a complete life
but death is absolute and unavoidable
if we embrace the inevitabile fear of death
and the fact that death is absolute
we can begin to focus on living our lives to the greatest ability of our self.
but we dont.
i won't
because the possibilities of how that remaining 75% of life will turnout
paralyzes me, makes me second guess..
makes me wonder "if i just did something different i would've been..."
but i cant live the lives of 100% of humanity
i can only be a spec in all that has live or ever will live
so i won't be doing anything different
there is no ctrl + z to life

life is like writing a 1,000 page term paper without hitting the delete button nawt once.
its writing a 1,000 pages for a teacher ...God, Allah, Vishnu or none of the above
its writing a million words that will perish as soon as the last one is written
mistakes will be made and you might predict how it will end
but in moment all we can do is look back or continue typing down the perilous pages of life.

so i won't be sad about where i am
i won't fear the deadline because regardless of what i do
who i piss off, what love i have loved, what money and belongings i have.
i can only hope that i earn a 100%

S|n